So why do I watch J-Vloggers' videos?

I discovered some Gaijins in Japan doing vlog on YouTube
about a couple of years ago, I think.
At that time, not many people were doing that,
and almost no Japanese.
Japanese are usually too shy to do vlog-thing,
most of them do not like to show their face on internet.
That was a part of the reason
that my space and facebook did not become big in Japan.
Instead of them,
we do have a social networking site called "Mixi"
but most of their members never show their faces on it.

Anway, when I was watching some youtube videos,
I discovered some Gaijins in Japan doing vlog,
and through their related videos,
I discovered more and more J-vloggers like
tokyocooney(my fav), rodgerswan(I miss him), claytonian,
myargonauts, busankevin and helpmefindparents,
to just name a few.
And waching their videos became an addiction
within my internet-addiction,

Now I do not watch as much as I did before
because there are just too many of them now,
and I am a bit bored,
but still I watch most of my fav vloggers' videos.

Then I like to ask myself why I watch them
as I do love analysing things.

Just like many other Japanese who come to New York,
I came here as I was gravitated to the glamolous,
trendy, hip, chic and wild images of this city
which were grossly exaggerated
by irresponsible Japanese medias.
All Japanese who come to US believe
that they will be able to speak fluent English
within a few years,
and they will make freinds with lots of Americans,
possibly boyfriends and girlfriends too,
and will be able to do something exciting.
However, soon they will realize
how difficult these tasks really are for them.
And probably the most schocking thing is that
Americans are not really interested in making friends
with Asians who can speak only a little English.
As Japanese are deeply in love with American cultures,
this is a harsh reality to swallow for them.
Realizing how hard it is to be accepted by this society
as an Asian who speaks a little English
or speaks English with an accent
in addition to the fact how hard to build the career
outside of the Japanese community
which are Japanese companies and Japanese restaurants,
the majority of Japanese go back Japan
after about four years or so.

Of course, there are people like me
to stay here for much longer time.
Yet, on the back of my head,
there is a voice that keeps telling me
that I am not welcome in this society.

Well, I felt like
I was a misfit in Japanese society anyway,
and that was the one of the reasons
that I have been staying here for a long time.
So even I am a mistfit in US society,
there might be no difference.
Well, that is not true,
at least, in Japan nobody is against me
because of my race
or inability to speak English without accent.

Recently, two Japan related news broke out big
in major American medias,
one of them was Toyota's huge recall
and the other was the big protest rally in Tokyo
againt the American base in Okinawa.
Both of them are not positive news about Japan.
Even though in the internet world
and among younger generations,
Japanese culture seems to have become more popular
in recent years, still in Major US medias,
you rarely see anything about Japan, and if you see,
it is usually a negative thing like these
or something very stereo-type.
Bascially I am living in the society which is saying
that they do not like my kind much,
which definitely keeps making a negative impact on my mind,
and shakes my identitiy.

Then I discovered those J-vologgers,
they are Americans and other foreigners,
genuinely like Japan and intrested in Japanese cultures,
which can make me feel better I guess
because I feel like they are verifying me
when I watch them.

Some Japanese turn out to be kind of nationalistic
after they have been staying in US for a while,
like they start going to some Japanese cultural events
even though the original reason that they came to US
was that they were gravitated to the American culture.
I guess they like to rebuild their self esteem
which was destroyed somewhat by living in the society
where most of people do not have
any strong positive images about Japan.
If they go to Japanese cultural events
such as the screening of Japanese old films,
they can reconfirm how great Japanese cultures are
and they are the people who came from the country
produced those wonderfully sophisticated cultures.

I guess watching J-vloggers videos seems to help
to rebuild my self esteem,
I guess that's why I like to watch them.

Does it make sense?

Japanese Actors Do Not Look Like Japanese!?? Part1

The other day, I had an argument over this subject
on some movie discussion board.

One guy wrote that he thought actors did not look like Japanese when he started to watch Japanese films such as Kurosawa's and Ozu's.

So I stated that actors in Japanese films did not look like Japanese to him because he was not used to seeing nice looking Asian/Japanese as he had not seen them in any American media.
For Americans, Asian are not supposed to be good looking. Therefore handsome actors in Japanese film did not look Japanese to this person.

In American media, you do not see many Asians. And when you see them, usually they are very very stereo types. Simply nice lookig Asian men do not exist in American media. Well, a few exceptions maybe.
But basically, in American media, Asian men are geeky ugly gumps,
And Asian women are exotic play-things who love to serve White men.
Casting directors do not chose handsome Asians because they think good looking ones do not look Asians enough.

Here is a good example.


Mashi Oka from the hit TV show "Heroes"


As he hated this accusation about the racism againt Asians in American media, he just did not want to admit it. I understood that.
So he started to write about Japanese propaganda films in Korea during pre-war era, which were nothing but ridiculous justifications of Japanese occupation over Korea.
I guess he wanted to say that Japanese media could be very bias too.

Anyway, after this argument, I started to wonder
if what I wrote to him was right or not.

Just look at some handsome guys in current Japanese media.


Kenji Sakaguchi (Actor)


Hiroshi Abe (Actor)


Tomoya Hase (Actor/Musician)


Takeshi Kaneshiro (Actor)


Kazuki Kitamura (Actor)


Ken Hirai (Singer)


Satoshi Tsumabuki (Actor)


Hidetoshi Nakata (Soccor Player)


With the exception of Nakata, they all have large eyes and tall nose, which are not Asians facial characteristics,
even Nakata has a relatively tall nose as an Asian.
Does this mean they do not look like Asians?
Well, at least I can say the majority of Japanese men do not look like them, that's for sure.

Hmmmmmm......

If I sit by the window of Sturbacks in New York
and keep looking outside, people walking down the street,
do I see many of those who look like Hollywood Stars?
"NOPE!"
But at least, I can say many White people do have
large eyes and tall nose relative to Asians.

So if the beaty standard of media in Japan is "large eyes and tall nose", probably it came from America or any European countries as most of Japanese do not have them.


To be continued.

How Japanese see Koreans #2

In early '70s, there was a sudden outbreak of..,
well, outbreak of the popularity of Chinese singers in JapanLand.
First, a very sexy & soulful Tiwanese singer called Ou Yang Fei Fei,
then, a cute young idol singer from Hong Kong called Agnes Chan.
As both of them became very popular,
subsequently Japanese record companies and agencies sent
lots of scoutmen to Taiwan and Hong Kong
to hail new cuties and beauties.





It was not only singers, in '70s there was a young Chinese-Japanese actress called Bunjak Hung was also popular.



Then, in '79, this song by Judy Ongg became a phenomenal hit.
She was born in Taiwan, moved to Japan when she was two,
and already a child star during '60s.



In mid '80 Teresa Teng became a super star,
not only in Japan but also all over Asia,
though she originally came to Japan in '73 from Taiwan,
and had a few hits during '70.
Then she was deported in '79 as she used a fake passport
and could not get in Japan till '84.
But after that, just hit after hit after hit.



Japanese considered these Chienes entertainers as exotic beauties.
And the interesting thing was that
no Korean entertainer could acomplish a success like these
as a Korean till a recent time.
Since late '70s
a few Korean Enka(traditional style Japanese popular ballds) singers
had achieved some sucess in Japan.
However, still at that time, I could hardly imagine
the day would come that Japanse young kids idolize
young Korean pop stars like they do now.

Though even in '70s, there were some successful
Korean-Japanese entertainters.
But they had to use Japanese names and hide their identities
like Jewish entertainters do in U.S.
Interestingly enough Japanese had prejudices
toward both Chinese and Koreans,
then how come only Chinese were accepted but Koreans were not?
Well, Chinese were Novelties for Japanese
as not many of them lived in Japan.
On the other hand, Korean-Japanese could be threats for Japanese
as a significant number of them were living in Japan.
The same logic can work in U.S. as well.
"One Black family in a White neighborhood is a novelty
but two of them are the begining of a Ghetto."

Yes, in a way, Chinese entertainers were accepted as they are.
However, think about it, they were all females
because womens were/are less threatening for the majority.

Here is a very popular Korean-Japanese singer, Akiko Wada.
She has been singing since early '70s
and considered a Japanese Soul singer
though she did not reveal her identity till a recent time.

Another defeat, Asian's hair cut in NY

I used to go to a Japanese salon
to get my hair cut till I had a career crisis.
After that, I thought it was too expensive for me
and I, who did not have stable income anymore, did not deserve
such a lavish treatment. Well, it cost about $50.
However, I could not accept the idea to go to a regular barber
because I had gone to a salon since I was 18 years old.
So I started to go to the chain hair cut place called "SuperCut"
which looks kinda like a salon with a barber shop price.
It turned out to be a place
for newly graduates from hair cutter schools.
And they come and go very quickly
as I guess they do not get paid well.

So each time I go there, I have to explain to a new person
what kind of hair cut I like.
I usually say
"I like choppy hair cut, shaggy kinda one,
lots of layers and zig zag lines,
short back and sides just touch my ears,
top should be a little longer,
and bangs, longest ones touchs my eyeblows."

But still some of them gave me a very wierd hait cut,
like every lines were so straight.
Once a young Black woman gave me such a strange hair cut
that I could not help saying to her
I could not walk outside with my hair like that.



As it really puzzled me,
I asked some Japanese I know
if they had any similar experience like this.
And some of them said yes.
Then I realized this is some sort of stereo typing about Asians.
Asians are supposed to have very weird straight line hair cut.
I do not know where this stereo typing came from.

Well, this is another stereo type image I have to accept
or coop with if I live in U.S. especially as a poor one.

How Japanese see Koreans #1

Momoe Yamaguchi was one of the biggest stars in Japan during '70s,
and this song is one of her many hits,
which is called "謝肉祭 Shanikusai(Carnival)."
Interesting enough, this song had been prohibited
to be put on the air,
and her compilation CDs had not included this song untill recently.
Why?
Because the lyric contains the word "Gypsy"
and that is considered as a derogatory remark.

Do you know where the "Gypsy" came from?
Gypsies were the people who migrated to Europe
from the north India.
But at that time,
as most of Europeans did not know much about India,
they thought those dark people were Egyptians.
Then "Egyptian" became "Gyptian", then "Gypsy."
Now it is considered derogatory against Egyptians.

From late '80s to mid '90s,
there was a strong cracking down movement
against any derogatory remarks in Japanese media,
which probably was influenced by
"Politically Correct" movement in American media.
All of sudden, so many words were prohibited to be used
in media and some works which had been already
published/released became out of print
and/or being prohibited to be put on the air.
There were so many words disappered from the media like:

Kichigai...crazy
Mekura.....blind
Katawa.....hadicapped
Ainoko.....racially mixed
Eta........descriminated group of people in Japan
Kuronbo....Blacks, equivalent to "N word"

There was a huge commotion in general public
about this prohibition.
Many people said it was wrong to prohibit to use these words
because they have been used for so many years,
and this kind of crack down can be
againt the freedom of expression.

At that time, I was already in U.S.,
and still there was no internet.
Yet I could almost figure out which words were wrong to use
as probably I had been advocated
about politically correctness, by living here in U.S.
However, still the prohibition of the word "Gypsy"
was a bit strange to me
because it is okay to use it in U.S.
I have never heard the songs like "Gypsy Woman"
were criticized because of the usage of that term.

Then, about two years ago,
On my e-mail, I asked my editor
if I could use the pics that I took
with my small digi-camera though I usually use pics
that I take with my SRL camera for my articles.
And I wrote with the term "Baka-Chon camera."
"Baka-Chon camera" is a general term for
small, inexpensive & easy-to-use camera,
which was a very usual term when I was living in Japan,
during '60s and '70s.
To my surprise, my editor wrote
"this is a forbidden term now,
because Baka means an idiot,
and Chon means a Korean.
So Baka-Chon camera means the camera that
even Idiots and Koreans can use.
I was totaly astonished
and I swear that I had no idea about this.


To be continued

Blacks in Japan part 2

In U.S., Three Degrees are known
as an one hit wonder of "When will I see you again."
But in Japan, they had hit after hit after hit in mid '70s.
They were extreamly popular
and this is the clip from their TV special.
They are the very first Black artist who broke in Japanese market.
Even before them, Black musicians
like Sammie Davis jr, Stevie Wonder and Marvin Gaye
had been well respected but only among serious music lovers.
Top selling artists were all White
as Japanese fascination to White culture,
or racial complex toward White, was the one big reason
for them to listen to American & European pop music.
However Jazz has been popular in Japan for a long time,
it has been always for educated class
therefore the market has been small.

Then came Three Degrees.
The one big reason they could become so popular in Japan
was their looks, no doubt.
Including me, many Japanese were shocked by their glomourous beaty,
which really destroyed the stereotype image
Japanese had against Blacks,
which was very negative, pretty much "Sambo."





Then came Stylistics.
Interesting enough, their popularity in Japan started to rise
with this song "Can't give you anything?"
when their popularity started to decline in U.S.



Obviously their popularity in Japan was not caused by their looks,
Ooops, sorry guys!,
but their sweet, soft, tender & sophisticated music and singing,
which really captured ladies' hearts.



In late '70s, Disco became very popular in Japan as well
and more and more Black artists were invited to perform.

Then '80 brought Michael Jackson
and during '80 Hip Hop gained popularity in Japan,
and those phenomenons had completely changed
young people's view on American Black music and Black culture.
Also in early '90s, Bobby Brown, now known as Mr. Whiteney Houston,
was extreamy successful in Japan as well.
Now young kids enjoy Black music as much as music by White musican,
which was totally unthinkable till mid '70s.

Well, the fact we can learn from this is that
the popular culture can really help to change negative stereo types.
Still some Japanese have not possitive images againt Blacks,
but it has improved immensely since mid '70s.
Now most of young kids recognize
American Black culture as something cool,
even though it is still a sort of stereo type
because not all Black people are musicians or dancers.
However, unfortunately African Blacks are still "Sambo"
for most of Japanese,
means they think all Africans have a very primitive life style.
But many Americans, even Black Americans,
got the same idea as well, don't they?

A while ago, I found the videos on YouTube
by a Black guy living in Japan
who were doing nothing but complaining
about racism againt Blacks in Japan, with his face covered.
I felt sorry for him to have bad expereinces in Japan.
However, I can say I have been racially humiliated by
low class Blacks and Hispanics much more than White here in U.S.
I had some Black friends when I was living in Tokyo around 1980
and they seemed to really enjoy living in Japan.
If you are a Black person who is interested in going to
or/and living in Japan.
I can say to you
your experiences in Japan can not be worse
than my experiences as an Asian who speaks crappy English in U.S.
as long as you are a decent and proper person
who know how to behave in public.



Three Degrees performed their most famous hit
on Japanese TV show in '90s.



Stylistics performed their first big hit in Japan
on Japanese TV show in '90s.

Blacks in Japan part 1

First of all,
I will try to talk about this subject as frank as possible.
If I offend anyone, please pardon me.


These black & white pics you are seeing are
from the film called "Kiku and Isamu"(1959)


Though I myself never seen this movie,
according to the books and articles I read, this is the film
about two mixed breed kids, half Japanese-half Black,
growing up in a rural area and post-war era of Japan.

Their mother was a prostitute,
as many Japanese women became ones for survival in those days,
and had a couple of kids with American Black GI.
Then he left by himself, as it's a same old story,
and their mother dumped them to her mother
who lived and worked as a farmer in a very rural area of Japan.
As kids grew up to be very naughty
and out of control of their granma,
they had to face lots of discrimination
and be teased & bullied by other kids as well.
They were called "Kuronbo" which is Japanese N-word.

In those days, many mix-breed kids were born in Japan
and most of them were between Japanese women and American GIs as this film suggests.
Now they are called "Half" but then they were called
"Ai-no-ko(合いの子)", means half-breed,
or "Konketsuji(混血児)" means mixed breed.
At that time it did not matter half breed with White or Black,
all mixed breed kids were teased and bullied.
That certainly does not happen only in Japan,
but especially in an almost homogenized society like Japan,
more likely to happen.
However, probably it was more difficult
for the kids with Black heritage, I guess.
Why?
Because Japanese has a great racial complex toward White
but a comtempt to other races, generally speaking.

Untill '60s, Japanese had quite bad stereo type images toward Blacks.
I do not want to blame everything on Hollywood
but it was mosdef a big factor.
Untill '60s, you could rarely see any possitive images about Blacks
in Hollywood films.
And Japanese love Hollywood movies, like "Gone with the Wind"
which features walking stereo types like Hattie McDaniel.


Back then, "Chibi Kuro Sambo (Little Black Sambo)" was
one of the most popular kids books in Japan.

And this was the most popular toy in '60s called
"Dakko-chan" which means like a haggie kid
because the structure of this toy allows it to hang on to your arm.


Even today, if you ask Japanese what is wrong with this image,
they do not understand why and they think they are cute.

Okay, let's go back to the movie "Kiku and Isamu"
I heard this is a not depressive movie.
Even though Kiku(older sis)and Isamu(younger bro) were discriminated,
they try to live their lives strongly.
However, the people from adoption agency came
and granma agreed to send only Isamu to U.S.
(I do not know why only Isamu was sent)
After Isamu was gone, Kiku tried to commit a suicide
by hanging herself.
But the rope snapped off because she was too heavy.
And becuase of the shock of that incident, she had her first period
and her granma said to her that
she would tell all farming skills to Kiku
so she could be independent to live her life
no matter what would happen to her.

Even during '50s and '60s,
as there were many devoting Jazz fans in Japan,
many Black Jazz musicians were invited to Japan to perform.
In those days, Jazz was the music for intelligent
and sophisticated people in Japan.
So not all images Japanese had about Blacks were negative.
But of course, Jazz has never been a music for the majority in Japan.
It was for the educated class generally.

However, the images about Blacks in Japan started to change
in mid '70s.

To be continued


This is how the girl who played the role of Kiku looks like now.
Her name is Emiko Takahashi and she is a singer.


There used to be a few half Japanese-half Black singers in Japan
like Ken sanders, Michi Aoyama and Joe Yamanaka.

"Manhattan Blues" by Michi Aoyama

Joe Yamanaka sings his signature hit "Ningen no Shomei"
Theme song from the movie of the same title, which is
the tragic story about Half Japanese-half Black boy
comig back to Japan to look for his mother
but being killed by her who did not want to have any scandal
that possibly would destroy her new political career.



This is the CNN clip that Jero talking about
his half-Japanese mother's experience in Japan.

Fascination with Gaijin and Half Tarento (Talents, Media Personalities)

In '60s-'70s,
there were many Gaijin & Half(mixed race) talents
in Japanese entertainment industry.
Most of Half talents were half White and half Japanese,
but some of them were half Black or even half Indian.

Japanese really adored those Gaijin & Half talents.


ヒデとロザンナ(Hide and Rozanna)
singing their huge hit "愛は傷つきやすく"(Love is vulnerable)
from 1969. She is Italian.
They eventually got married but Hide died from cancer.
She raised their three kids by herself.


This Hawaiian obscure folk duo became BIG in Japan,
Betsy & Chris singing their memorable hit
"白色は恋人の色"(White is my lover's color).
Lovely!


Graciela Susana singing one of her hits in Japan, "Adoro"
Argentine's obscure singer became BIG in Japan.


Daniel Vidal was a French singer
and she had a successful singing career in france as well.
This was her appearance on Japanese TV in 1998
though this hit was from 1970.
This song made all Japanese want to go to Paris
where all the most sophisticated things were, they belived so.
But it was absolutely out of reach for average Japanese,
only what they could do was dreamng about it
and immitating French culture like singing Chanson.


山本リンダ, Linda Yamamoto singing her signature hit
"狙いうち"(Sharpshooting)
This song is about the woman thinking
she deserves to be with the richest man in the world
because of her beauty
and she will conquer the world with it,
making all men her slaves.
Oh My!, I love her.
Actually the beauty was the other reason of
Japanese fascination with Half talents,
who were considered much more beautiful than
average Japanese.
Linda's dad was American G.I. and sadly died during Korean War.


Golden Half singing one of their hits "Adam & Eve"
One of the members, Runa Takayama became an adult film star
after this group disbanded.
Cloistered Nun: Runa's Confession (1976)
It is available on DVD in U.S. now,
a very campy and erotic revenge story by a young nun.
Check it out.
Many of '70s Nikkatsu Roman Porno are very interesting films.
I will talk about them some other time.


辺見マリ, Mari Henmi singing her signature hit
"経験"（Experience）, she was only 20 years old at that time
but amazingly sexy and mature.
Her dad was Hispanic.


小山ルミ, Rumi Koyama singing one of her hits
"孤独の街角"(Lonley Streetcorner)

There were many Half singers like Michi Aoyama(Half Black),
Aki Izumi, Miki Obata, Sherry, Maggie Minenko,
Joe Yamanaka(He was Half Black as well), Carmen Maki,
Lily and Ken Sanders(Another Half Black Guy).

Though Japanese economy was booming in '60s,
still Japan was far from rich country.
In '70s, average Japanese people's lives
definitley improved a lot.
Almost all of them had color TV, stereo, telephone,
washing machine, refrigi and so on.
However, still traveling abroad was
a privilige for affluent class.
In '80s, finally average Japanese could afford to
have a vacation trip to abroad,
finally Japan became a wealthy nation.
During '60s and '70s, traveling abroad was
a dream beyond dreams for most of Japanese.

After the war, most of Japanese are starving
and wearing rugs, cities were ruins.
As they watched Hollywood films
where people had luxualies,
which reminded them of how miserable their realities were.
it is not difficult to imagine that
one of the driving forces that Japanese worked so hard
to re-build their economy was this yarning that
they wanted be like the WEST,
they wanted to be like White people.

During '60s and '70s when being like the WEST
was still the unreachable dream for most of Japanese,
those Gaijin and Half talents brought the WEST
a little closer to Japanese.
Also Japanese loved to hear Gaijin singing in Japanese.
As some Japanese love to try sing in English
because they love and love to immitate the western culture,
they feel like they are loved back by the WEST
when they hear Gaijins singing in Japanese.

Besides those Gaijins who were obscure but made big in Japan,
many Japanese loved to listen to the music of
American and European stars as well.
But I heard, in those days, many of American rock bands
did not play seriously for Japanese audience.
Why?
Why did they have to play seriously for yellow monkeys?
I guess it was simply laughable for them
to just stand in front of the sea of yellow faces.
BTW that no loger happens since Japan became to be known
as the economical force in the world.

Now Japan is no loger poor country
but still you see many Gaijin and Half Talents on TV
because Japanese love affair with the West still continues,
which brought us Jero.


Jero is a quater Japanese, American Black Enka sensation.
Enka is the traditional Japanese popular ballad song
which is usually about lamenting on lost loves
and hardships of lives,
which most of younger generation do not like to listen to
as it is not cool for them.
Most of Japanese laughed when they heard that
a Black guy singing Enka
because the images of a Black guy
does not fit the images of Enka at all.
just like probablly it sounds funny for westerners
when they hear Asians do rap/HipHop
because the images of Asians do not fit the images of rap.
But Jero turned out to be quite successful.
Why?
Because Japanese feel they are loved back by the West
when they hear Gaijin singing in Japanese
and in this case, Especially because of Enka,
which is the traditional Japanese song
even younger Japanese do not like to listen to,
and it is something Japanese believe only Japanese can dig.
The idea the a Gaijin likes to immitate
this Japanese traditional culture realy blew their minds.
To be honest with you, I think Jero is a fine Enka singer
but not a great one.
On this video, he sings the song called "夜空"(Night Sky)
which was a big hit from '70s
and the original was much better, I think.
But he is still young.

And finally this is the reality of Asians
in American entertainment industry.

he became famous because he was a super stereotype,
Asian is supposed to be ugly, chinky, gooky, dorky
and cannot sing or dance, or any other cool things.

BTW that guy from KDD TV is Ken Tanaka, isn't he?
If you do not know him, do search on YouTube.
I did not know he was an actor as well,
a very talented guy.

If you were an Asian and spoke English with accent

About two years go, I desperately needed some work.
One of my friend, who is no longer in New York,
is a lawyer and have worked for several agencies in this city,
suggested me to apply the position of paralegal.
Though I had known paralegals were assistants for lawyers,
I had not known what exactly they did,
I asked him if I could really do that job,
as especially I did not have efficient level of English skill,
as you see here, I knew I even could not do proof readings.
He told me paralegal work from the three agencies he worked for
is fairly easy, basicaly an entry level assistant work
and still they pay $18 an hour.
So I said "Okay, I will give it a shot!"
He gave me tel# of those agencies
and sent an e-mails of recommendation to them as well.
So I called them and talked to the people
who were in charge of hiring paralegals.
They asked me to submit my resume by e-mail and I did that.
So the next phase was
to call them again to get the interview date.
As my friend suggested me not to call them too often
because they can be annoyed, I called them twice a week.
I did that about for three weeks but I could not catch them.
So next week I called them three time a week,
next week four times, next week five times
all different time zone but I was always told
they were away from the desk,
at the meeting, lunch break or gone for the day.
I eventually realized they were all avoiding me.

Agencies pay $18 a hour means that Lawfarms pay like $25.
If you send assistants to your clients for entry level work
and they pay $25 an hour, of course you like to send
a White person, or at least someone who speaks good English
without any accent, which is not me.

In this city, if you are an Asian who does not speak English,
you are a yellow monkey.
If you are an Asian who speaks English with accent,
you are still a subhuman.

I am an Asian who speaks English with a heavy accent
an have a very strange Asian name.
I have been living my life as a subhuman here,
which is my choice I did not have to stay here.
And I do not hate White people
because I know the racism does not discriminate.
Asians, Blacks, Hispanicks, they are all same.
All of them can be racistic as White.
On the other hand,
undeniably this society is dominated by White
and they do have power and control,
which means if you are not White,
more likely you are discriminated by White.
That is reality too.

And as American Whites are so well educated by Blacks
about race relations, they seldom show true colors.
So sometimes I cannot trust them.
even if they are smiling at me,
very possibly they think I am a yellow monkey.
Low class uneducated Blacks and Hispanicks,
if they look down Asians, they really show that.
So at least it is easier to tell.

Chinese Food Delivery Man

Since I used to cover pop music for Japanese media,
I had visited many record companies in Midtown.
Sony, BMG, EMI, Universal, you name it.
And each time I talked to the receptionists,
they thought that I was from some Chinese restaurant
to deliver the food.
Even they did not say it,
I could tell by the way they looked at me.

So I asked some other Japanese collegues
and they said they had similar experiences.

Whenever those receptionists see Asian guys
in casual attire like jeans and T-shirt,
they think they must be from Chinese restaurants
or messengers.

The vast majority of record companies' employees were White
and I found Blacks only in a Black music department.
Asians?, they were the extreamly rare spieces there.

At one time, I had to wait at the receptionist area
for about one hour, and Asians I saw there were
three guys from Chinese restaurants.
Therefore I cannot say it was completely a prejudice.

And eventually, I had become to realize that
the majority of people everywhere,
they think I AM a Chinese food delivery person.

In New York city, there are many many
Chinese fast food restaurants.
Most of them have a small storefront
with simple decorations
and a kitchen right behind that.
Some of them look Okay, some of them look kinda shabby.
You order something from their menu
and they cook it within a few minutes.
Most of their workers speak minimum English.
And they deliver, yes they do.

For the most of non-Asian New Yorkers,
Chinese fast food restaurant workers are the Asians
that the most frequently they have a contact with.
Therefore they naturally have become Asians' stereo type
along with Korean grocery store workers
and Chinese laundromat workers.

If I walk down the street with jeans and T-shirt,
most of people that I pass by think
I am supposed to be from
some underdeveloped country of Far East,
and came to U.S. as a poor immigrant or a refugee.
No education, no cultural sofistication
that I am supposed to have.
I am supposed to work at a Chinese restaurant
or deliver Chinese food.

I am taller that average Americans, 6 feet.
I graduated from the very good college in Japan.
I have been professionally writing for a long time.
I think my taste for music, films and books is
more sofisticated than average Americans.
But they do not matter.
Because, for them, I am suppose to be
a cheap Asian food restaurant worker.

This has created a huge identity crisis in me.
And this is the reality that I am living in.

So Close, Yet So Far

"Raising Victor Vargas"

Last night, like many other saturday nights,
I stayed home, yeah, yeah please pity me,
and I watched this little indie film on PBS.
I had read about this movie before,
which came out a few years ago,
but never seen it.
It is a coming of age kinda movie about a Hispanic kid
who is living in Lower-Eastside
or Alphabet city of Manhattan.
This cute boy named Victor is sixteen
and has a looka-like younger brother
and a younger sister.
All these kids have been raised in a small apartment
by their religious granma
originally from Dominican Republic.
As a young teenager, of course Victor wants a girl
and he met a very pretty one.
Now his mission to get this girl starts
and his granma think he is becoming a bad influence
to his younger siblings because of that.
Nothing-really-happened kinda movie, which I like,
just a description of the daily ordinary life of the people
who live in the poor urban environment,
no drug, violence or excesive sex involved.

I have been living in the Alphabet city for a long time,
between Avenue A and B, to the exact.
Beyond avenue B, east side of avenue B is a pretty much
Hispanic area.
So I rarely go there.
Actually now things are changing, many Whites live beyond B
because the rent has sky-rocketed all over New York.
But, until like 10 years ago,
it was almost exclusively Spanish.
Those days, whenever I walked in there,
kids yelled at me "Chino, Chino".
On snowy days, kids threw snow balls at me.
One day I observed who they threw balls.
They targeted Asians, and White girls sometimes
but never to White men.
I guess they feel that they are bellow Whites
but certainly above ugly geeky Chinese
(all Asians are Chinese for them).
They did not do that out of naughtyness,
that was absolutely racial hatered.

I have been living so close to a Hispanic community
but never had a Hispanic friend.
Then I do not have Chinese or Korean friends either.

When I saw this movie,
I thought these kids are not realistic,
They seemed to be too sweet.
They live in a poverty and not nice neighborhood
but it seems not to effect them at all.
But then, it dawned on me how I could tell that.
I do not know about Hispanic people.
Some kids are bad enough to threw snow balls to me and laugh
but some kids might be sweet like those in this movie.

I realized how close I live to them,
then how far I am really from them.

Negative Reactions to "Racism in Tokyo"

Wow, tokyocooney's video "Racism in Tokyo"
is getting viewed a lot for such a short time
and also getting lots of negative comments
from Japanese.
Obviously they don't get it.
They do not understand why this is funny.
Well, this is a type of joke
Gaijins can enjoy among them.
Then why does this video have a title in Japanese
which obviously attracts Japanese viewers?

I wrote about this video on the post below this
and said that it had gotten my nerve a bit.
It was because I had to go through
a real hardcore racism here in U.S.
while Gaijins in Japan complained and joked about
trivia things like being stared.
That is a luxuary to me!
But still this is an understandable joke.

However, most of Japanese do not understand
this kind of joke and they can be offended
because they understand the situation itself.
Most of Japanese feel like staring Gaijins
because they are curious about different races
and they love love American(or European)
cultures so much that they feel
they can see them in or behind Gaijins.
Therefore Japanese feel like they are the one
who is scolded by that Black woman
when they see that guy in the video is scolded
or they fell like they are bashed.
In other words, this video is too close to them.
You know, people want to be loved by whom they love,
not to be bashed.
Japanese staring toward Gaijins is actually
their LOVE and longing for the glamorous America.
That's why some Japanese are so upset with this Video.
I heard that some Japanese had been upset
when they had seen "Lost in Translation" as well.
There is the Japanese old saying
"可愛さあまって、憎さ百倍（Kawaisa amatte nikusa hyakubai)"
which means that your hatered can be amplified 100 times
when you are betrayed by someone who you adore.

Also the guy in this video is very nerdy and creepy,
very stereotype of Japanese.
I know, for Americans,
that is the way Japanese men are suposed to look like.

But in a very sarcustic way, I enjoy this commotion.
It is very interesting and entert...., hahahaha.
Some comments from Japanese are so so stupid.
I get the same kind of comments
if I write about the racism against Japanese in U.S.
for Japanese media.
Some Japanese do never ever like to know
that they can be descriminated in U.S.
because they love America so much.
So they always hate the messengers.

Thanks Kevin!

Racism against Gaijins in Tokyo vs Racism against Asians in NY

This is the video that tokyocooney made about Racism in Tokyo.
He is a writer & comedian who lives in Tokyo,
originally from New York, and makes fun videos
about his experiences of living there as a Gaijin.
I really enjoy his videos, actually love, love his videos.
However, this latest one got my nerve a little
even though I do understand this is supposed to be a humore.
Gaijins in Japan often complain about
being treated as a novelty in Japan,
and how annoying Japanese always make comments on
how well Gaijins use chopsticks.
Also how annoying it is
whenever they get stared by Japanese in public spaces.
In case you do not know, Japanese stare Gaijins
because Japan is, even not completely so,
a very homogenized society.
Therefore people are very curious about
someone lookig different from them.
Also as Japanese media keeps feeding them very one-sided
glamorous images about American (and European) cultures,
whenever Japanese see Gaijins,
they see those images behind Gaijins
and tend to be gravitated to them.
But gererally speaking Japanese treat Gaijins nicely
because of those kind of longings for Western cultures.
However, that is not always the case
if you are non-White foreigner,
especially the ones who came to Japan as a cheap Labor.
Well, I have to add Blacks are included to the Gaijin status
as long as they are from U.S. or Europe and educated enough.
The younger generation of Japanese loves new Black cultures.
Hispanics are included too
if their facial features are close enough to Whites
as most of Japanese cannot tell the differences.

I guess Gaijins in Tokyo have no clue
about what it is like to live in New York
as an Asian who speaks crappy English.

Sorry, this might sound like Gaijin bashing.
I do not bash them but I guess I envy them sometimes.

Obama: Aquittal for Whites

A few Month ago, I wrote the article,
which was about Why Obam was so popular
among middle class Whites.
I wrote it is because voting for him was
like buying a letter of aqittal.
Sorry, I do not know what exactly they were called
that people bought from church
during the midieval time in Europe to aquit from their sins.
Each time I go to a Korean grocery store,
the deep inside of me saying
"I'm so sorry, so sorry about what we had done
even that happened before I was born."
"That" was more than sixty years ago.
Blacks had been lynched until '60s.
Then why not White feel the same way,
especially the ones who are educated.

Of course, I know that is not only one reason
why Obama is so popular among middle class Whites.
But, isn't that guilt play some role in this???
I love to ask this question whn I will do the field research
in the nex week at some colleges.