So why do I watch J-Vloggers' videos?

I discovered some Gaijins in Japan doing vlog on YouTube
about a couple of years ago, I think.
At that time, not many people were doing that,
and almost no Japanese.
Japanese are usually too shy to do vlog-thing,
most of them do not like to show their face on internet.
That was a part of the reason
that my space and facebook did not become big in Japan.
Instead of them,
we do have a social networking site called "Mixi"
but most of their members never show their faces on it.

Anway, when I was watching some youtube videos,
I discovered some Gaijins in Japan doing vlog,
and through their related videos,
I discovered more and more J-vloggers like
tokyocooney(my fav), rodgerswan(I miss him), claytonian,
myargonauts, busankevin and helpmefindparents,
to just name a few.
And waching their videos became an addiction
within my internet-addiction,

Now I do not watch as much as I did before
because there are just too many of them now,
and I am a bit bored,
but still I watch most of my fav vloggers' videos.

Then I like to ask myself why I watch them
as I do love analysing things.

Just like many other Japanese who come to New York,
I came here as I was gravitated to the glamolous,
trendy, hip, chic and wild images of this city
which were grossly exaggerated
by irresponsible Japanese medias.
All Japanese who come to US believe
that they will be able to speak fluent English
within a few years,
and they will make freinds with lots of Americans,
possibly boyfriends and girlfriends too,
and will be able to do something exciting.
However, soon they will realize
how difficult these tasks really are for them.
And probably the most schocking thing is that
Americans are not really interested in making friends
with Asians who can speak only a little English.
As Japanese are deeply in love with American cultures,
this is a harsh reality to swallow for them.
Realizing how hard it is to be accepted by this society
as an Asian who speaks a little English
or speaks English with an accent
in addition to the fact how hard to build the career
outside of the Japanese community
which are Japanese companies and Japanese restaurants,
the majority of Japanese go back Japan
after about four years or so.

Of course, there are people like me
to stay here for much longer time.
Yet, on the back of my head,
there is a voice that keeps telling me
that I am not welcome in this society.

Well, I felt like
I was a misfit in Japanese society anyway,
and that was the one of the reasons
that I have been staying here for a long time.
So even I am a mistfit in US society,
there might be no difference.
Well, that is not true,
at least, in Japan nobody is against me
because of my race
or inability to speak English without accent.

Recently, two Japan related news broke out big
in major American medias,
one of them was Toyota's huge recall
and the other was the big protest rally in Tokyo
againt the American base in Okinawa.
Both of them are not positive news about Japan.
Even though in the internet world
and among younger generations,
Japanese culture seems to have become more popular
in recent years, still in Major US medias,
you rarely see anything about Japan, and if you see,
it is usually a negative thing like these
or something very stereo-type.
Bascially I am living in the society which is saying
that they do not like my kind much,
which definitely keeps making a negative impact on my mind,
and shakes my identitiy.

Then I discovered those J-vologgers,
they are Americans and other foreigners,
genuinely like Japan and intrested in Japanese cultures,
which can make me feel better I guess
because I feel like they are verifying me
when I watch them.

Some Japanese turn out to be kind of nationalistic
after they have been staying in US for a while,
like they start going to some Japanese cultural events
even though the original reason that they came to US
was that they were gravitated to the American culture.
I guess they like to rebuild their self esteem
which was destroyed somewhat by living in the society
where most of people do not have
any strong positive images about Japan.
If they go to Japanese cultural events
such as the screening of Japanese old films,
they can reconfirm how great Japanese cultures are
and they are the people who came from the country
produced those wonderfully sophisticated cultures.

I guess watching J-vloggers videos seems to help
to rebuild my self esteem,
I guess that's why I like to watch them.

Does it make sense?