Smile, you must keep on trying

>It is sad to think you have simply accepted this as your fate, though.

No, I have NOT accepted everything as my fate.
However, I have definitely accepted some facts of life
like I will not have a family of my own except my cats.

Until you reach a cirtain age like 35, though it depends,
things like death and aging seem kinda foreign
or not very realistic
as naturally young people feel they are immortal.
But after you reach 35-40 or 50 for some people,
suddenly or gradually they become very realistic,
and you start seeing your limitations much clearly.

When you reach the turning point of your life, just age wise,
you look back your past life which was in your youth,
and think of what you could do.
And look forward to your future life
which will be in your aging process toward to the end,
and think of what you will be able to do
with your eyes and mind which have become more realistic.

Then the acceptance to some extent is necessary
if you do not want to be crazy.
You are not going to be a hero, a star or a super rich,
or accomplish something extraordinary many people praise.
You have to settle with an idea "it's okay" to just get by.



>You cannot exist alone in isolation, like an island, my friend. Even I had to learn this lesson.

Of course, nobody can.
Being an animal of the society,
we need other people's help, attention, comfort and recognition.
I do not say I will live alone completely.
However, I lack an ability of having a family
and the social skills & the right state of mind to have many friends.
So I have to live my life in a relatively isolated way,
which I have to accept.


>Is it too much to say I hope for you? You continue to blog, and talk about these deeply personal topics...I cannot believe that in your soul you have completely given in.

I have not completely given up, of course not.
Even if I have done so,
I still have to continue dealing with my life
as I am still afraid of knowing what is there beyond the sky.


>A part of you continues to reach out, yearns to touch and connect with the humanity in others. I know you haven't given up yet. Your words have touched a chord ... in me, in others... by virtue of the posts people leave you.

I actually opened up this blogger.com accont for my Japanese blog,
but I realized this system lacked some fanctions I needed.
So I started my blog with the other system.
Then some time later,
I decided to start the English one with this
since I rarely wrote in English.
And despite of how you feel,
I do not think I have revealed much of my personal things on this.
What I write here is very generic,
things most of people do experience soon or later in their lives.
Someone said that
life is to experience what the world offers to us.
As long as we live, we have to experience them every day
and deal with them.
Some brings joy, some brings sorrow & pain to you.


>So take heart, Blue. Sometimes, all it takes is the warmth of a smile.

I thank you for your kind words.
Very very nice of you.

Here is my theme song