between this world and that world

Ryoko Yamazaki,山岸涼子, is one of my favorite manga artists,
I mean she is really an artist.
Though she created so many masterpieces,
this particular one left a big impact in me like nothing else.
It is called "Yomotsuhirasaka 黄泉比良坂"
which means somewhere between this world and the "after death" world.

Not agreeing with her husband on their divorce,
a cold-hearted woman was killed by him
who wanted to be with other woman.

Because she had died with so much hatered,
she could not go to heaven or hell,
and her soul is just roaming
somewhere between this world and that world.

Suddenly she woke up surrounded by pure darkness and silence,
then she realized that she did not have any of her body parts,
therefore she could not ask any help,
but eventually she started to see something fuzzy,
sometimes she hears water is dripping or the sound of winds,
sometimes she has glimps of other roaming souls like hers,
but they are gone quickly,
and most of the time, she is alone, so alone.

I am addicted with internet, spending so much time on my computer.
And when I am in this internet world,
I feel like my lonely soul roaming around seeking warmth of others,
but not able to touch anything or communicate with anyone
in the way I really need to do.
I am physically alive but still pretty much same as a dead woman
whose lonely soul is roaming around forever.

I hop one site to the other, one blog to the other,
search something, open up some pages, read a bit, hear a bit,
sometimes leave a message or two and move on,
keep roaming and still I'm alone.